A few months back I posted part 1 of 5 habits to drop for 2020, since then we have all been on a rollercoaster ride. While I'm very late with a follow up I guess it's better late then never. I think the my point are even more valid now than before Corona virus. Here we go, Part 2 of 5 habits to drop for 2020
3. Stop listening to the inner saboteur.
While you're looking inwards and developing respect within yourself, you are going to encounter your inner saboteur. This nasty little devil can make or break you, so it's wise to understand it's tricks.
To Stop your inner saboteur is much easier said than done, feeling like an impossible task at the best of times. However, it is a must if you want to move beyond your current limitations.
Let me be very clear; I'm not talking about jacking up your ego to the point that you don't listen to any criticism. I have been in this state of mind, and it's not great. I'm referring to the management of the inner self-talk that while tear you down if you allow this demon to preoccupy any headspace
I know what your thinking, well, dah, I know this, but how the hell do I stop it, and if you mind is calling a blank. Then maybe open any one of Brene Browne's or Gary John Bishop's books and circle back when you have a better understanding of what is going on in your head.
Rather than telling you how to stop your next level cray-cray thought patterns, I would advise you to examine them instead. For real, get a note pad and write down any thoughts that you flag as unfavourable. These thoughts and situations will vary significantly from examples like, 'gosh I'm stupid for leaving my keys at home,' to your brain linking the cover of a cookbook to why your fat, stupid and a hopeless dumb ass. Yes, this is a real process that has unraveled in my mind, and only a month ago. It's not fun.
By writing your thoughts, you realize just how unrealistic your feelings are. While gives you some context to when and where contrary beliefs occur within your life, we like to think we are perfectly rational, but none of us are. You need to consider this when working through this process. This method also gives you... what did you say... CONTROL. Yay, your learning. Yes, by examining your disordered views, you have the power to change them, it's pretty amazing.
Once that you can see the patterns, you can challenge all your inner demons with hard facts. By using your own life experience as the clarity, that to your twisted thoughts about your self is mostly untrue. Question these beliefs and examine them deeply. I can imagine your not as stupid or lazy as your subconscious would lead you to believe.
Then you can start to change these thoughts and understand where they arise; you have the power to give a massive middle finger to your inner monster and overpower it with rational thinking. Honestly, it is an epic task, but one that is worth pursuing in the new year and one that will change your life and improve your self-worth.
4. Stop comparing your self to others in any way shape or form.
I struggle with this task a lot; I always compare myself and my journey to everyone. I examine my hero's to see if there are any similarities and how they overcame their downfalls. Always asking the question, "What are the steps I can take too fast track my way to success?"
You can see the holes in my strategy, their journey is not mine, and I can't compare anyone's success and path-way to my own. Or define my own life by other standards of achievement.
When you follow this approach, you set to fail from the beginning, no journeys are alike, and a personal path in life is only affected by their own choices and how they react to their circumstances. Compare and despair, is very real, and you never gain any helpful insight from the comparison. Not to mention it detracts from how amazing your achievements and how your life has shaped out so far. If you find yourself playing the comparison game, examine your successes, and find gratitude within them. 2020 is not the year for judgment but a celebration of your value and what your yet to achieve.
5. Stop complaining. Period.
Before you say to your self, I never complain, already achieved that. I'm going to stop you. Even if you think you don't complain.... you do. Everyone does, it's human behaviour, pour human behaviour at that, but it is normal.
This practice has a close relation to a behaviour I mentioned earlier 'Stop listening to the inner saboteur'. Complaining is a tactic your brain uses to bring in a slight vale of negativity and can send you down the rabbit hole of negative thinking mighty fast.
The smallest complaint opens space in your brain to feel a sense of lacking or failure; this behaviour also severely limits your ability to remain grateful and practice gratitude.
The moment you complain you are already in a negative spiral, this is the time you need to take a big step back. Examine what is going on in your head and why you're giving any mental space to this frustration.
If your reading this post, I can guarantee your life is not so disastrous that you have the right to complain largely. You most likely live in a developed nation, your safe, have food on the table and hell your mostly white. So why do you feel the need to complain as if your world as about to implode?
If you want to continue living in your average world and allow a cycle of negative logic to continue, fuelled by complaints about a perfectly good life, then keep hustling hun. But if you want to change your position to be positive and prepare for great-value, then stop COMPLAINING.
I would also like to note there is a difference between complaining and working on issues your experience through conversation. The essential difference being is your ability and wants to change the situation that frustrates you. For example, there is a difference between complaining about how unhappy you feel in your body, then eating a large McDonald meal, compared to having a conversation with a friend about your unhealthy relationship with food, identifying how you can change, then follow through with that.
It's pretty simple if you can't change what is frustrating you, DON'T COMPLAIN.
If you're doing nothing to change your frustrations actively, DON'T COMPLAIN. If you are using complaining as a method to gain attention, DO NOT COMPLAIN.
It only hurts you in the long run and messes with your inner dialogue.
You also just sound dumb when you complain about general life happenings. It's not worth the breath, energy, and the harm it courses you. Instead of complaining, just make the changes you need in your life to improve it, isolate your frustrations, and streamline your life.